A woman was stunned when she learned that her husband expected her to pack his bag for a holiday weekend with his family that she was uninvited to.
In her viral Reddit post that received 17,000 votes published on « Am I the A**hole, » u/richnfamous353 wrote that she has been married to her husband « Ted » for about two years, but she hasn’t gotten along with his family.
« Last Christmas Ted & I traveled to spend Xmas with them and it was awkward for some reason, » the Redditor wrote. « After we went back to the hotel his mom sent me a list of all the things I’ve done wrong at her house like bringing wrong types of desserts and wearing ‘inappropriate’ clothes (um I wore a blouse and leather jacket) and not standing up when guests arrived. »
This year, u/richnfamous353 wrote that only Ted was invited to spend Christmas with the family. He told her that his family did not invite her because of last year’s « negative points. »
She added that his family thought it would be the best decision and that they did not want to force her to attend the Christmas celebration due to the « tension » between them.
Shocked, the Redditor asked if he planned to spend the holiday with his family without her and he said he did because he never spent Christmas away from them.
People may be put in an uncomfortable position when their partner and family do not get along. Suzanne Deggnes-White Ph.D. wrote a piece for Psychology Today that stated while there may be valid reasons for a family to dislike a relative’s partner, there are some boundaries that the couple can establish.
During the holidays, for example, couples should set limits on how long they spend with the family and stick to the plan. Additionally, both the partner and the family should understand there should be no drama allowed during the gathering.
u/richnfamous353’s husband suggested that she spends the holiday with her friend or plan her own celebration.
« I was upset but hey! If they don’t want me then I shouldn’t force it and tried to not feel hurt and offended, » the Redditor wrote.
When Ted got home earlier this week, he asked if his bags were packed and ready to go, to which u/richnfamous353 replied that she did not know. He was upset and expected her to have packed his bags because she typically does when they travel together. Ted accused her of ruining his arrangements and said she was « bitter » because she was not invited to the Christmas celebration with his family.
He then told her that she was overreacting was acting petty for not packing his bags for him knowing that he was going to travel.
« He packed his bags in a rush and ended up forgetting most of the gifts he got for his family, » u/richnfamous353 wrote. « He’s now not speaking to me. »
Commenters jumped to her defense and provided some advice.
« Change the locks while he is at his parents and hire a divorce attorney is what I would do if my wife did what your husband did, » u/TheAxe11 wrote.
Another suggested that in addition to sending her husband divorce papers, the Redditor should also provide a list of his own « negative points. »
« Why are you with this guy again? » u/likeahike asked. « He wants to spend Christmas with his family, but you’re his family now. »
The commenter concluded by suggesting Ted does not respect or prioritize u/richnfamous353.
u/Fantastic_Gene_6791 commented that Ted’s family may understand etiquette, but they lack manners and class.
« The number one rule of etiquette is you make your guest feel welcome and comfortable, even if their custom is different from your own, » u/emmster wrote. « Sending a bullet list of all their ‘mistakes’ is the worst manners in this story. »
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